Capt. Suraj’s Story

Growing up, I never felt good enough. My looks, skin tone, way of dressing and lack of interest in sports led to ridicule and taunts. To avoid the bullying, I smiled through the hurtful comments and tried to please people. What made it harder were the constant reminders that I would be a disgrace to my parents since I was not good at academics despite being the son of an engineer. When I failed to clear my Class XI exams, the shame got to me and I ran away from home. I was just 16. I soon realised that running away was not the answer. My solution, unfortunately, was to put on another mask – a mask of strength. I also resolved to make my family proud by excelling professionally. Joining the Merchant Navy seemed perfect.

Over the course of 14 years, I rose from a Cadet to a Captain. I had achieved everything I set out to – money, designation, respect. Yet it felt empty. As this was the only life I knew, I continued to live the charade of happiness. Until a challenging transition at 42 sent me spiralling back into my teenage insecurities. I realized that my life was a lie. Thanks to my masks, people did not know who I really was. Unable to bear the dishonesty any longer, I embarked on a long journey of deep introspection and self-discovery.

My transformation journey focused on overcoming insecurities by stepping out of my comfort zone. I learned Latin dancing, I pursued other passions. I felt so much lighter and freer. And I realised that my only chance of happiness was to live a truly authentic life, regardless of what people around me said.